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Sunday, May 30, 2010

A Different Kind of Mommy Guilt

Most moms feeling guilty about needing to return to work, they just can't imagine leaving their children with someone else. With my first child I completely felt this way. The thought of returning to work brought tears to my eyes and would turn me into a panicky mess. Going back to work ended up being much better than I ever expected it to be. I was able to feel like myself again, and I got to come home and spend the evening with my beautiful boy.

When I was pregnant with my daughter I got taken off of work at around 31 weeks, due to pregnancy induced carpal tunnel, my doctor was concerned that if I continued to work I would loose complete control of my hands for the remainder of my pregnancy. I enjoyed the summer I had with J and it helped us all to prepare for new addition.

Once A arrived life seemed wonderful, I loved being a mum. I had a beautiful daughter and a son who was working his way through the Terrible Twos. Soon after when the cloud of happiness started to disappear I realized that I needed more. I felt like I was loosing my identity and was becoming Mom. Don't get me wrong I love being a Mum, the best thing I have ever done with my life is having children, but I needed to maintain myself too. I was looking forward to going back to work so much, and with that I felt guilty for not wanting to stay home with my children. I have returned back to work on a very part-time basis before I return back full-time in July, and I feel fantastic. I come home from work and I feel great and I am greeted by children that are happy to see me.

I realized that I don't need to feel guilty for not wanting to be home full-time with my kids, because the most important thing is that I am happy and taking care of myself (the kids are a given) and everything else will fall into place.

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